<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Short Way to an Angry AI by SapphicSpud</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840854">A Short Way to an Angry AI</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicSpud/pseuds/SapphicSpud'>SapphicSpud</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Artificial Intelligence, Fluff, Gen, Science Fiction, Slice of Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:53:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicSpud/pseuds/SapphicSpud</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I've just finished reading a Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, and it got me thinking about how conversations with sentient computers would actually go.</p><p>or</p><p>Humans and AIs spend all their spare time winding each other up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Human &amp; AI, Riley &amp; Sadie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Short Way to an Angry AI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>idk how to tag this</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Riley....Riley." The ever calm voice spread throughout the room, cutting into Riley's sleep. Fucking AIs!</p><p>Riley rolled over with a groan, pulling their pillow over their head. "Sadie, power down."</p><p>"'Sadie, power down'" the mocking voice repeated "You disabled that command remember. You said you we're fed up with missing your wake up call."</p><p>Riley groaned again, louder this time, and slammed their hands against the hard board of their bed. "Of course I fucking did."  </p><p>They still refused to open their eyes, not truly committed to the day yet.</p><p>"Language!" Despite having the foulest mouth of any sentient being Riley had ever known, Sadie took every little opportunity to chastise her crew for the same faux pas. She said living beings should know better. AI's had a lot of shit to remember and deal with, as well as stupid crews putting them in stupid situations, they could be allowed a little swear every now and again, as a treat. She continued in her sweetest voice "If you require a more stringent wake up call I could play the 99 Trumpets of Quarkdom?"</p><p>"Don't you dare!"</p><p>"Initiating music system, 99 Trumpets of..."</p><p>"Right I'm up. I'm up." Riley yelled, their syllables short and tense. They threw back their patchwork blanket and shoved their feet into their boots, muttering a string of curses aimed at their past self and at Sadie. They even threw in a threat about cleaning Sadie's circuit boards for good measure.</p><p>"You did say it was an important morning and that it was imperative that I wake you up. By any means necessary."</p><p>"I fucking hate you."</p><p>"I love you too, Sunshine. Now how about some coffee, that should improve your foul mood?"</p><p>Riley squinted up at the ceiling suspiciously "What kind of coffee?"</p><p>"ReadyCoff, here to service all of your caffeine related needs in one easy sachet."</p><p>"Uggh don't, I'm going to retch." The buzz coming from the AI's sound system definitely sounded more smug than usual. "I meant it about cleaning out your circuit boards by the way."</p><p>"I'd be more worried if I didn't know you were going to be busy with the Captain all day."</p><p>"Is there really only ReadyCoff left?"</p><p>"There might be a cup of Herleas' finest waiting for you in the canteen, but only if you make it worth my while."</p><p>The AI let out a little tinkly laugh at the way Riley's face brightened up."Maybe I can leave cleaning your circuit boards for a week or two. I'll have it with cream."</p><p>"Yes, Your Majesty." </p><p>"Ohhh I like that, call me that from now on."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yeah, go on."</p><p>Sadie was thinking of all the ways she could annoy Riley into retracting the demand to call them this new title, when Riley managed to trip over their own feet all by themself, going through the automatic doors.</p><p>"Watch your step there, Your Majesty." Sadie took pride in never missing a chance to be helpful.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I might add some more to this story?</p><p>You can find me at www.sapphicspud.tumblr.com come and say hi.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>